I'm Blue Dubadee...

I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones (it probably is!) - but I've been feeling all sorts of bluesy lately. I've spent too much time brooding on tragedies happening in the world and how transient every stage of life is. I've found myself crying over silly things like realising that Gabriel has outgrown his tiny first shoes and that I've gone to get his hair cut 3 times already and for some reason, I can't find the longest lock of hair from his birth that was snipped off at the first haircut. 

I cried when he pulled on the cat mobile in his cot by himself for the music to play, indicating to me that he doesn't need me to do small things like that for him anymore. 

I also cried when he learnt how to click the tiny on-off button on my night lamp to get the light to come on and be turned off. 

And then, I also cry when he doesn't eat his lunch, the lunch I had slaved over for 40 min that morning preparing and chopping and cooking. 

I also cry when I think about how I will be an even more frazzled version of me now, when #2 is born in August. That's just 4 short months away, folks!! As it is, I can barely keep up with the cooking, washing and basic chores while getting in enough play time with Gabriel. And let's not even talk about work which I have to rush through every night without fail when all is quiet and I can finally hear myself think. 

Motherhood is indeed a world of paradox, where on one hand I am so exhausted struggling through each day while keeping Gabriel and myself alive, while on the other, I am so panicked to find that time is slipping away quickly; too too quickly, and my baby is shooting up. 

Today shall just be one of those Cuddle-Up-With-My-Baby-While-He-Sleeps days. We moms all have days like these and going by how quickly he's grown up, such days with this baby seem numbered.